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Med school and dating

Even though you used to walk into your home with your shoes on, and sit on your bed in the same clothes you just wore while riding the subway, or sat on a public bench in, you'll become far too disgusted to ever do it again.

Learn to hide your “ew, gross” reactions when they tell you all the stuff you never wanted to know about your bodily functions. Support them when they come home after each test, upset because they failed—and gently remind them after they get their well above passing grade how unnecessary the “I’m going to fail out of medical school and never become an MD” dramatics are. Date them for long enough, and you’ll become one too. There will be weeks you'll forget you even have a boyfriend—friends will ask how he is and you'll say, “What? And when you witness others perform these same acts that, before you began dating your med student, you spent your entire life doing too, you'll wince and wonder, “Ew! Don't they know how many germs and bacteria they're spreading??! Romantic date = Chinese take-out in front of the TV on their 10 minute study break. A vacation together consists of a trip down the street to Walgreens for new highlighters and printer paper. Their study habits will make you feel like a complete slacker. The name of the 8 billion-lettered, German sounding cell that lives in the depths of your inner ear, the technical term for the “no one's ever heard of this disease” disease that exists only on one foot of the Southern tip of the African continent.

Some will be extremely rare, others will be more mundane. They will be certain they have it (no second opinions necessary.) Med school can, and will, turn even the sanest into a hypochondriac. Believe me, it's going to get bad...you'll watch yourself transform into the anal retentive person you swore you'd never become.

Or, you'll need to pay a therapist who will pretend never to get sick of listening to your endless venting and complaints. It's not like I'm speaking from experience or anything...

Yes, dating a medical student can be this demanding and more. But if she’s worth it and more, then you’re good to go.

Now as Medical-Boyfriend chugs his way through his first year of school, I can honestly say that no amount of research prepared me for the bizarreness of dating a med student. The line between a homicidal maniac and a med student is quite blurry. He started on my shoulders then fingered his way down my back. Last time he stuck that ophthalmoscope in my eye I smacked his hand away. We plan study-abroad programs and comic-con trips I’m sure he’ll have to opt out of.

One of the wives “joked” that she often texted her husband that he owed her a Louis Vuitton bag for all her shouldered responsibility to their household. Med students are broke as hell, y’all, and accumulating hundreds of thousands in debt. ”“My bone box.”And it is exactly what you think it is. I’ve had the pleasure of rolling over onto a point -- and ow! I went to our blackboard and wrote: NO BONES IN BED. And yet Cody is always in our bed and I often end up playing footsie with phalanges (Medical-Boyfriend again, “I was looking for that! Reach in, and come out with a shirt reeking of formaldehyde and a few chunks of human tissue fall to the floor. Medical-Boyfriend pulled on his latex gloves, threw open the tank doors and beckoned me forward. The smell of formaldehyde coated my mouth and nasal passages -- the bottom of the tank contained a pool of embalming fluid. His stethoscope seems to always find its way to my back whenever I’m eating.

And I tell you honestly, she’s going to be a lot of that – busy.